-the article is taken from www.babycenter.com
Is it normal to lose hair after giving birth?
Expert Answers
Sandra Johnson, dermatologist
All new moms experience hair loss, though some lose more than others.
Here's why it happens. During pregnancy, changes in your hormone levels cause your hair to stay in a resting phase for longer, so you lose less hair on a daily basis. (You may have noticed that your hair seemed thicker than usual.)
After you've given birth and your hormones have settled down — usually at about 12 weeks after delivery — more hair shifts into a shedding phase. You may be alarmed to find hair coming out by the handful.
Normally, you lose about 100 to 125 hairs a day, but after delivery, you may be losing about 500 a day. This can be very disturbing, but try not to worry too much — you won't go bald!
There's little you can do about the shedding, other than to be patient. The shedding tends to be most noticeable when you're shampooing or brushing your hair, so you may find that shampooing less frequently or letting your hair dry naturally instead of brushing and blow-drying helps slow the loss.
On the other hand, it's going to fall out at some point, and you might prefer that it happen in private. Regular washing and brushing may help you avoid leaving a trail of shedding hair behind you all day. Try using a thickening shampoo if you feel your locks are getting too thin.
You may notice fine "baby" hair growing along your hairline at the top of your forehead once the shedding phase has ended. Having bangs can do a lot to camouflage this wispy new growth while it's growing out.
Within another six months or so, your hair should be back to its normal pre-pregnancy thickness, but you may find that the texture of your hair is never exactly the same. It may be wavier or straighter or more dry or oily than it was before pregnancy. This is probably due to the hormonal upheaval you've just been through.
If the hair loss doesn't seem to be slowing and you're still losing lots of hair six or so months after delivery, check in with a dermatologist or your healthcare provider. It may be a sign that you're low on iron, which is not entirely uncommon for new moms.
Is it normal not to want sex after having a baby?
Is it normal not to want sex after the birth of a baby, and how long will this feeling last?
Expert Answers
Laura Fijolek McKain, ob-gyn
It's normal to have a decreased sex drive after giving birth. This feeling can last for months. In one study of postpartum women, 20 percent had little or no desire for sex three months after delivery, and another 21 percent had a complete loss of desire or aversion to sexual activity.
A number of factors contribute to these feelings. First, your sex drive has to compete with the overwhelming fatigue that results from taking care of a newborn. New babies are demanding. They require round-the-clock attention and a great deal of physical contact. This can be both physically and emotionally draining. When you finally have a moment to yourself, you may need a break from intense physical attachment, making sex low on your list of priorities.
Second, your body is healing from the ordeal of labor and delivery. Major hormonal shifts are taking place that can make you feel off balance. You may also worry that intercourse will be painful, and for many women, the first sexual encounters after childbirth are uncomfortable. Also, your body is still recovering from giving birth, and you may not feel as attractive as usual. These feelings can have a dramatic impact your body image and make you feel less sexy and desirable.
Third, you may consciously or subconsciously fear becoming pregnant again. Evolution may help explain this. In nature, mother animals rarely mate when they're busy rearing their young. Their bodies just wouldn't be up to the additional burden of another pregnancy. The same may be true of women.
The good news is that most women report that this decrease in libido is temporary. With time and patience, you and your partner can rebuild a satisfying sexual relationship.
Is it normal to feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for my new baby?
I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for my new baby. Is this normal?
Expert Answers
Edward Christophersen, clinical psychologist
Yes, absolutely. Between the physical and emotional changes you're going through and the increased responsibility, it's not surprising that you feel this way. Also, the desire to do everything "right" puts a great deal of pressure on a new parent. As you become more comfortable with tasks like feeding, diapering, and bathing your baby, you'll probably feel more confident and in control.
Try and take things one day at a time, and find support. Talk to another parent, a friend, or a family member about what you're feeling. Also, find some time for yourself — even something as small as a brief walk around the neighborhood or an uninterrupted bath can help you cope with stress. If you're still overwhelmed by the end of the first month or so, it could be a sign of postpartum depression. Make an appointment with your doctor to talk things through and get some help.
Is it normal to miss the freedom I had before becoming a mother?
I'm thrilled about having my son, but I miss the freedom I had before I became a mother and feel overwhelmed with the responsibilities of parenthood. Is this normal?
Expert Answers
Karen Kleiman, therapist
Life changes after a baby is born. Roles shift, hormones rage, chores multiply, finances alter. Having a baby challenges your sense of control, leaving you feeling depleted and overwhelmed. You also lose some of your freedom, which can be particularly difficult for many women.
Parenthood is overwhelming because no mother ever thinks she has enough time, help, training, money, or emotional support. This can leave moms feeling trapped, bored, resentful, depressed, irritable, or angry. All of these feelings are normal.
What can you do about them? Identify which parts of your "old life" you miss. Make a list and be very specific — write out "I miss spending time with my best friend" or "I miss staying up late and going out." Come up with as many things as you can and jot each one down, even those that seem silly to you, such as "I miss going out for pizza on Friday night."
The more things you include in the list, the easier it'll be for you to pinpoint exactly how you're feeling. When you're finished, go over each item on the list with your partner or a close friend. See how you can add one or two back into your schedule and then make a point of scheduling the activities. All of these things need not be lost forever.
This exercise really does work. It's a way of taking charge of your life again — and regaining control is essential to reclaiming your sense of balance.
Once you become aware of the things you miss, you'll be able to give yourself permission to feel the loss without feeling anxious or resentful. After all, losses are a necessary part of major life changes, and you may soon find that some of these losses pave the way for new joys and experiences.
Remember, having a baby doesn't mean giving up all the things you enjoy. It's important to take care of you, too. If you still feel unsettled, you may want to talk to other moms about how they're handling their loss of freedom or see a therapist so you can better identify ways to adjust.
Is it normal that I like being a stay-at-home mom but miss my job, too?
Expert Answers
Karen Kleiman, therapist
Your ambivalence is quite common, but it's understandable if you find it upsetting to feel this way. It can be really hard to want two things at once. Life is a series of trade-offs — sometimes we have to give up important things (such as a job) in favor of other choices that are equally important (staying home with your baby).
It's natural to miss your job. Working was a big part of your life before you became a parent. On the job, you were likely recognized, appreciated, and even thanked for your hard work. You probably miss seeing co-workers, clients, customers, and others with whom you had important relationships.
Now that you're at home with your son, try to incorporate some activities that satisfy the needs your job fulfilled. For instance, build in time for adult conversation, intellectual stimulation, and contact with colleagues.
Talk to other stay-at-home parents about how you feel — you may find that many of them are experiencing the same emotions. If you don't know many other stay-at-home parents yet, reach out by joining a playgroup, an activity class, or a club such as a local mothers' group. It can help to share your feelings with others in the same situation.
If you're bored at home, take a class or develop a skill or interest. It may even lead to a source of additional income in the future. Many stay-at-home parents develop a home-based business or take on part-time work as their child gets older, and you can start laying the groundwork for this now, even with tiny steps.
As your child gets older, you may also want to volunteer at his school and find other ways to get involved in your community. Whatever you decide to do, don't feel guilty about pursuing your own interests. You won't be denying your son. You'll be enriching yourself, which is always a good thing for a parent to do!
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